Mommy Overwhelm is a whole new ballgame. You’re juggling the roles of caregiver, meal prepper, house cleaner, and maybe even a side gig or two. At times, it feels as though every step you take forward leads to three steps backward. In the blink of an eye, your clean hair is greasier than ever, and you have hundreds of unread emails in your inbox. You skip lunch. You glance at the Epsom salt that you meant to use two months ago. You truck onward with dark circles under your eyes. A tiny human thinks you aren’t doing things fast enough. Oh Mama, I feel you.
Here are my tried-and-true tips for managing the motherload!
Set an Intention
I like to begin my day by stating:
It is my dominant intent to respond with love at all times.
Planting that intention in your heart at the start of your day will help you be mindful of your words and actions. When you don’t have intentions, you tend to operate on autopilot, and you automatically react rather than mindfully respond.
When you have the voice of your Higher Self reminding you to respond with love, you are more inclined to say, “I’m going to spend two minutes in another room. I no longer want to answer ‘no’ to your question”. Your child will witness a healthy way of dealing with irritating behavior. Wouldn’t you rather she had self-respect and say those sensible words to people than snap at them in frustration?
At the end of the day, we want our kids to model optimal behavior. We are their number one role model. Let’s make the most of this short time frame to be the best love responders we can be!
Ask for 15 minutes
Sometimes, we find ourselves overwhelmed and unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. There is little we can do to stop the imminent tears and the headache. Both kids need attention, the kitchen is messier than ever, dinner hasn’t gotten started, and the pile of laundry has taken over the couch. Everything needs to be addressed right now. You know that you need some TLC yourself.
Big mama hugs. You definitely need some care. And you are certainly in the right mind to stop and ask your partner for fifteen minutes in the car. It is not an unreasonable request. If you think that asking for a fifteen-minute break is selfish, and you are afraid to ask, think about the fact that many states require paid fifteen-minute breaks in the workplace. Every person deserves a fifteen-minute break!
When I say, “Take your break in the car”, I am not joking. The car is the only place where you’ll be able to unwind. You won’t hear anyone crying or fighting, and you won’t have the urge to end your break before fifteen minutes have passed. The inside of a car is quiet and peaceful. No wonder my meditation teacher encouraged us to meditate in the car after work! No one bothers a person with their eyes closed in a car. No one judges it. Think about it. Would you?
Be Loving Awareness
You are not your body. You are Consciousness, and you have a body.
There are many names for Who You Really Are. Perhaps you have always called it a soul. My favorite term for one’s essence is Loving Awareness.
I have great habit of pausing in the middle of anything and reminding myself: I AM Loving Awareness.
This habit has helped me have the beautiful, broad perspective of Source. All problems shrink when you view them from this expanded state. You suddenly remember how wonderful it is to be a human, experiencing these precious Now Moments.
How blessed you are, to be Mommy!
This moment of domestic chaos will pass. Look at it through a new lens.
It’s not messy. It’s beautiful lives co-existing and enjoying bountiful blessings. How magnificent it is, to have snacks and sippy cups and clothes and toys and the cute kiddos running around in their midst! Do you know how many people wish they had what you had?
Confide in a Mom Friend
You might be the only mom in your group of friends. If that’s the case, I encourage you to seek out a new connection so that you won’t feel alone as you navigate motherhood!
I made one great friend through an app called Peanut. I set an intention to find a super cool mom in the area, and I found her quickly. Within a couple of playdates, this fellow toddler mom and I were genuine friends making plans every week. With our shared sense of humor and other similarities, we’ve been able to lean on each other from time to time. Although our kids get along well enough, she and I are next level. She’s a real one. People like her are a treasure!
Now, I know there are flaky people out there who will message back a couple of times before going ‘poof’. You may also find that you don’t vibe with someone, and you don’t want to meet up with them. Don’t let that phenomenon define your experience. Do you really want to miss out on a person that can both ignite you and teach you something you needed to learn?
Occasionally, you’ll share a smile and a few words with a mom at the grocery store. Don’t bypass the opportunity to share your social media or phone number with her. This mom may have suggestions for fun events in town, or you may rope her in to something. The presence of a familiar face at story time or the playground can work wonders on your psyche. You will exchange stories, and you will have perspective, hope, and upliftment!
Don’t beat yourself up over feeling like the Hot Mess Express sometimes. The fact that you are seeking out tips for mommy overwhelm means that you have a tender mama bear heart. A boundary-pushing toddler is a force to be reckoned with, and it can bring anyone to their knees. Cluster-feeding infants and clever preschoolers can be challenging, too! Hopefully, these tips will help you feel like your head is above water most of the time!
Do you have any tips? Please share in the comments!